I think it's important to remember that most of the time, people will put on their best faces out in the world, but the best that they are can't possibly be everything they are. And while there may be tons of things that you love about a person that you know to a limited degree, it doesn't mean you're going to love everything about this person, or this person as a whole once you get to know all of them. Don't throw people up on pedestals, ever. It's sure to cause an unrealistic expectation and quite the tumble. Don't be disappointed when you realize that someone is human. You are too.
For instance, I think a lot of things that I never verbalize, or would only speak to certain people. I can only imagine that most people are this way. Otherwise, there would be a lot of inappropriate and unintelligent conversation going on everywhere. There are just some things that aren't meant for certain ears. And taking it a bit further, there's really no need to voice every thought one has anyhow. Some of them hold no value to contribute to either intelligent or entertaining conversation.
When speaking to people you haven't known very long, it's best to make all the right assumptions, and use them wisely.
1. They don't know anything that you do.
Everyone has different interests, hobbies, education, and things that make us who we are. It's best when talking to someone you haven't known for a year or more, to assume that they don't possess any of the knowledge that you do. I don't mean assume they're a moron. I mean assume they know different things than you. And I'm not saying to dumb yourself down around new people. What I'm suggesting is that you don't truck on through a conversation about the inner-workings of a vehicle or nuclear physics, Latin or even laundry with someone assuming they're following you just because they don't stop you to ask questions. A lot of people are terrified of being ignorant of anything. Ask them questions to make sure they are following whatever train you're on and speak to them like nothing is common knowledge. Because honestly, everything has to be learned. Some of the most intelligent people wear 'them shoes with the velcro' because they don't know that rad bunny trick with the laces.
2. They want to learn things.
If someone enjoys your company and conversation, it's safe to assume that your interests intrigue them.
Don't overwhelm them with loads of information all at once. But it's probably a good idea to throw in small insights into a given topic here and there across several conversations.
3. They want to teach you things.
People love to share things they know. That includes everyone. I'm not even going to play it safe on this one. Everyone loves to share things they know. Some people love it because it makes them feel special, some because it makes them look smart, which in turn makes them feel special. Some people love it because they love what they're sharing, some because they feel like what they know is of value and they love who they're sharing it with.
5. They sometimes think about stupid things.
Everyone has that childlike curiosity and thought process sometimes. If I'm standing in an aquarium with a group of people and we're talking about the lifespan of a killer whale, I might think to myself, "I wonder if that little fish beside the whale ever even knew its mother." I'm not going to say that out loud, because what really would be the point? You get where I'm going with this, right? Everyone does it.
6. They sometimes think about things they would never share with you.
And sometimes this is going to happen in your presence. It has nothing to do with you. Actually, on occasion it may, but assume it doesn't. Sometimes it's obvious when an unmentioned thought crosses someone's mind... just let it go. Chances are, if they don't want to tell you, then you're probably better off not hearing it.
7. Neither 5 nor 6 makes them any different than you.
Realize it and embrace it whether you dare admit it aloud or not.
8. You are not better than them, in fact, they might just be better than you in some way.
This is where the line between respecting the unknown value of a person and placing them on a pedestal becomes thin. But, it is important. Try to find the right balance between remaining respectful and gracious and creating unrealistic expectations of a person. Treat people like they are amazing, because most people have the ability to be. But don't expect them to be perfect, because no one has that ability.
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